Chapter 6

page no 78

To keep senators in the interest of the crown, it was propose that the members should raffle’ for employment; every man fir taking an oath, and giving security, that he would vote for the coun whether he won or not; after which, the losers had, in their turn, the liberty of raftling upon the next vacancy. Thus, hope and expectation would be kept alive; none would complain of broken promises, bu impute their disappointments wholly to fortune, whose shoulders are broader and stronger than those of a ministry.Another professor showed me a large paper of instructions for discovering plots and conspiracies against the government. He advised great statesmen to examine into the diet of all suspected ew of their persons; their times of eating; upon which side they lay in bed; with which hand they wipe their posteriors; take a strict excrements, and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the consistence the crudeness or maturity of digestion, form a judgment of their thoughts and designs; because men are never so serious, thoughtful and intent, as when they are at stool, which he found by frequent experiment; for, in such conjunctures, when he used, merely as a trial, to consider which was the best way of murdering the king, his ordure would have a tincture of green; but quite different, when he thought only of raising an insurrection, or burning the metropolis.The whole discourse was written with great acuteness, containing many observations, both curious and useful for politicians; but, as I conceived, not altogether complete. This I ventured to tell the author, and offered, if he pleased, to supply him with some additions. He received my proposition with more compliance than is usual among writers, especially those of the projecting species, professing “he would be glad to receive further information.”I told him, “that in the kingdom of Tribnia, by the natives called Langdon, where I had sojourned some time in my travels, the bulk of the people consist in a manner wholly of discoverers, witnesses, informers, accusers, prosecutors, evidences, swearers, together with their several subservient and subaltern instruments, all under the colours, the conduct, and the pay of ministers of state, and their depunes. The plots, in that kingdom, are usually the workmanship of wordnotes 1.drew lots 2 back positions 3. revolt 4. temporarily stayed 5. slavish 6. lower category

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